I am 33 weeks and 4 days. This Thursday I will be 34 weeks, and I wont lie, I just want this baby out of me, I want to be able to hold him / her, to be able to finally see the little nose and ears, to hold his / her tiny little hand and to play ‘This Little Piggy’ on my little babies tootsies.

I am constantly being kicked in the ribs and am suffering from heartburn / acid indigestion – which is awful. I can’t sleep very well, I am always way too hot I can never get comfy and if I do find a comfy spot then baby decides to wriggle and I have to dash to the toilet and then lose my lovely comfortable position.

And my partner, don’t even get me started on him! He does just not understand pregnancy, He doesn’t understand why I’m so tired all the time, I’m now on maternity leave and he thinks that I no longer have a reason to be tired… The fool! I want to slap him half the time, he tells me I can’t do this or that, then moans at me when the washing up isn’t done, because I couldn’t stand due to freakin’ pelvic pressure!! I love him, but he makes me so so mad.

I’ve got my maternity bag(s) sorted, the pram is bought (I’ve had a good play with it, running around the house) It’s a travel system from Mothercare, and I LOVE it 😀 my parents are going to have the car seat due to the fact that we don’t have a car. Babies nursery is painted, 2 of the walls are a lovely yellow and the other 2 are cream with ducks stenciled on as a border 😀 babies cot is up, am going to take the mattress out of the plastic at the start of next month, so that is it aired and fresh for babies arrival.

We have pretty much all babies essentials bought, we have his / her coming home clothes, stacks and stacks of nappies, we have the steriliser and even have babies Christmas outfit sorted 😀 (he / she is going to be dresses as a reindeer!!! – I know, so cute)!

So in all, we are prepared for baby, all we really need are the monitors and a set of curtains…

But I wont lie, I am absolutely terrified. I have NO idea what to expect when labour starts….. What if baby is too big to fit out? and I have to have a c-section? What if my baby is starved of oxygen when coming out and becomes disabled? I am terrified of something going wrong! What if I get pre-eclampsia? What if my baby is still born? I just don’t think I could handle that. I love this little sproglet so much, I couldn’t handle it if something happened…

Get this Baby Out

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A Long Time Coming.

So I haven’t posted a blog in absolute ages. Which I know I should have done, but between moving house and work I haven’t found much time to do anything, especially since I have been so tired throughout the whole pregnancy.

So 2 weeks ago I went for my 20 week scan, and everything with baby was absolutely fine, no extra arms or legs (or any missing ones).

Image

When I saw my little baby on the screen I almost cried (I admit a tear leaked out but nothing more, though I wanted too) it was just such a special moment, I can’t explain to non-pregnant women just what a heart-warming and special moment it is seeing your baby inside you. I cannot wait until I have him or her in my arms for real! 

As you can guess we didn’t find out the sex of the baby, though I was debating for ages and ages whether or not too. I desperately want to know (I’m not good with surprises) but at the same time a surprise like this would be amazing. In the end I just decided to go with what felt right on the day (though I had already told the other half that I wouldn’t find out – I still wasn’t sure). So now, late November / early December I with have a little surprise 🙂 

One reason that I haven’t posted anything really is because I don’t think I have much interesting to talk about. I haven’t felt overly excited at some times and all I seem to do is worry about the weight I’m putting on and the stretch marks that everyone seems to harp on about. Am I going to get piles and will sex ever feel normal again?! I’m more scared then anything at times. I’m scared about my changing body, I’m scared that I’m going to be a rubbish mother and I’m scared that I’m too young. I haven’t spoke to my partner about this as he’s so self assured that he’d just tell me I’m being silly. And I have no pregnant friends to talk to about any of this and I get the feeling my other friends are sick to death of me talking about my pregnancy. 

I have no idea about antenatal classes or anything, I feel very small and worried. I am excited for baby and I love buying stuff for him / her today I went and got some teething dummies for when that dreaded day occurs, I’ve bought bibs and bottles and blankets I’m waiting for the cot to turn up – but still, all I can do is worry in silence.

And no I appear to have poured my heart out. 

Anyway, the picture above is of my little bump at 20 weeks, I’m now 23 weeks and over half way through my pregnancy. 

xx