Undecided Weaning.

So I want to do baby led weaning, but my mum and my mil keep presuring me to spoon feed. He’s now 4 months and they (especially my mum) keep trying to get me to give hiim purees and it’s driving me up the wall!

Oscar keeps watching me eat and I’ve gave him little bits here and there and he loves trying new things, but I really want baby-led to be the main weaning tactic that we use. I love the idea of him feeding himself and squishing food and throwing it!

I just really wish my mum could understand this. She knows I’ve tried him with a few things already and she’s trying to force me into giving him more and more. He’s 4 months so he can have a few things, but she’s on about giving him baby roasts and god knows what else!

I wish she would just understand that Oscar is my own child not hers I wish she would respect how I want to raise him.

SHE DRIVES ME CRAZY! I understand that she has done this before (4 times) and that spoon feeding was ‘the done thing’ back then but it’s not the 90’s anymore. I’ve tried to talk to her and to show her by books and recipies the type of weaing that I want to do but she goes in a huff. Am running out of ideas and am now too scared to ask her to baby sit as I know she’ll go behind my back and feed him a proper blended meal probably full of salt!

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The Most Useless

I really must be a very poor excuse of a blogger. I had intended on posting about my labour and adjusting to beinga new mother… however, my little boy was born on December 15th 2012 and I totally forgot to post anything about it!! I was so caught up int he excitedment of finally meeting my little bundle of joy that I just didn’t even think to post anything about it! Useless. Totally Useless.

But here I am, 2 months later I am finally posting about everything!

THE LABOUR.

So my first contractions started at about 4am on the 14th, they were very erratic and I wasnt entirely sure I was in labour. But very quickly they became close together, so off I went to hospital, however, unfortunaltly I was only 3 1/2 cm dialated. Apparently, not all pregnancies follow the ‘plan’ of slowly having your contrations geting close together gradually mine just wernt straight on in there!! However, I chose to go back home and there my mother joined me (I wont lie, my partner was useless so I’m glad my mum was there, later I was going to need someone to calm me down, and my darling Mr Greg was not the person to do that!!) about 3 hours later I was off back to the hospital, where I was told I was 5cm dialated. The relief I felt when I was told that was immense! I was convinced that I wouldn’t be far enough along for pain relief and my mum and Mr Greg had to literally force me back to hospital!! And so I started on Gas and Air, everything was going swimmingly! I the G&A was doing its job, I was bouncing on the ball, I was having baths, I was laughing… then slowly the pain became worse, and the G&A wasn’t working quite so well, however I persevered, then when it got too much, I decided to have a wee bit of pethidine which worked a treat! That along with the G&A I was on to a winner!! or so I thought…. my waters finally broke naturally at 11.30(ish) after much begging for the to be popped (my midwife refused, I was very annoyed) when they finally did go it wasnt a ‘gush’ which was how many people had described it to me as, but more of an eruption… my waters litarally srayed everything in close proximity! Apparently I called my midwife a b.i.t.c.h. however, I dont remember this, I do however remember begging for an epidural, she refused to give me this too, though I’m glad she did, apparently it’s horrible as you can’t feel anything, not even your own legs…

My midwife said that as soon as my waters broke baby would come out quickly, but I started pushing and literally nothing seemed to be happening. She started telling me that my baby was becoming destressed and I needed to really push, though god knows, I was pushing as hard as I could! because my baby was taking so long to come out she had to call the doctor. By this time I was so worried that something was terribly wrong, my partner (Mr Greg) was useless, wondering around like a wraith, my mother (who decided to come along for the ride) was amazing, trying to calm me down and talking me through breathing. In the end I had to have 2 episiotomies and a kiwi cap!! Turns out my gorgeous little sproglet had his hand up by his head, which made it so damn difficult to give birth to him!

I was so shocked that I had finally given birth that I totally forgot to ask when sex he was! It was my mother who asked!! I said all the way through my pregnancy that I would prefer a little girl, but as soon as they told me I had a son, I didn’t care, he was mine, my own little boy and I loved him instantaneously. Though I didn’t get to hold him straight away, It was Mr Greg that held him up to me as I was busy being stitched up 😦 I was upset about that, but I didn’t really have a say in it. I was however shocked at how much he looked like Mr Greg!! In the end Oscar was delivered at 00.27 on 15th December.

All that night I didn’t sleep, I couldn’t take my eyes of my beautiful little boy. I was so scared of touching him, I had no idea how to pick him up or hold him, so I just stared at him until a midwife came around. They wanted to keep me in for a while because Ozzie didn’t take to breast feeding straight away, so we gave him some formula milk and I pretty much bullied the midwives into letting me go home!

I’ve now had him for 8 weeks and 2 days and they have been the best weeks of my life. I can’t imagine how I ever lived without him! Yes sometimes I’m tirerd and sometimes I’m fed up and too knackared to do anything but most of all I’m in love and happy. I’ve realised I never knew what real love was until I had him. The sencond day we had him home he took to breast feeding and it melted my heart to see him feeding from me!

Though, when all my milk came forward I was totally unprepared!! I mean, where the hell did it all come from?!?! I was leaking left right and centre!! Though last week I had to take him of breast as he’s already started teething! I know front teeth are meant to come first, but little Oz has all his top back teeth and a few front and his bottom front teeth all cutting trough at the same time! My poor little boy couldn’t latch on without it being excruciatingly painful for him so we’ve had to but him on bottle (it’s alot easier for him to suck on bottle so less painful!)

Anyway, for now this is it! Hopefully I wont forget post for another 2 months!!

So, again I have left it absolutely ages since I last posted. I would have liked to post about my labour and adjusting to having a little spoglet around the house, but alas, no such post can exist seeing as my little trooper has decided that my womb is much too warm and cosy to leave.

I am now 4 days over my due date, and my god it is testing my patience! I set myself up for having a baby by now but instead I still have a bump. It is actually rather upsetting… you think you’re going to have a baby by your due date (you know that there’s always a chance that you’ll go over, but you don’t really think it’ll happen to you) and then your due date comes and goes and it really is heart-breaking 😦

I just want to see what my baby looks like, I want to know if it’s an Annabelle or an Oscar, I want to know how heavy he / she is, I want to hear them cry, I want to have their little fist grab my finger, and most of all, I want to be able to hold them close and know that I am finally a mother, to feel the bond that mothers have with their child.

We’ve bought him / her Christmas presents, I know it’s a bit ridiculous seeing as baby wont even realise that it’s Christmas, but I couldn’t resist! My own parents have bought him / her something too, it’s really cute, all my family are so excited! Next time I don’t think i’ll tell people the due date as I’m inundated with calls and texts asking if baby has arrived yet! It’s quite upsetting having to say ‘No’ all the time!

And the wait continues…

I am 33 weeks and 4 days. This Thursday I will be 34 weeks, and I wont lie, I just want this baby out of me, I want to be able to hold him / her, to be able to finally see the little nose and ears, to hold his / her tiny little hand and to play ‘This Little Piggy’ on my little babies tootsies.

I am constantly being kicked in the ribs and am suffering from heartburn / acid indigestion – which is awful. I can’t sleep very well, I am always way too hot I can never get comfy and if I do find a comfy spot then baby decides to wriggle and I have to dash to the toilet and then lose my lovely comfortable position.

And my partner, don’t even get me started on him! He does just not understand pregnancy, He doesn’t understand why I’m so tired all the time, I’m now on maternity leave and he thinks that I no longer have a reason to be tired… The fool! I want to slap him half the time, he tells me I can’t do this or that, then moans at me when the washing up isn’t done, because I couldn’t stand due to freakin’ pelvic pressure!! I love him, but he makes me so so mad.

I’ve got my maternity bag(s) sorted, the pram is bought (I’ve had a good play with it, running around the house) It’s a travel system from Mothercare, and I LOVE it 😀 my parents are going to have the car seat due to the fact that we don’t have a car. Babies nursery is painted, 2 of the walls are a lovely yellow and the other 2 are cream with ducks stenciled on as a border 😀 babies cot is up, am going to take the mattress out of the plastic at the start of next month, so that is it aired and fresh for babies arrival.

We have pretty much all babies essentials bought, we have his / her coming home clothes, stacks and stacks of nappies, we have the steriliser and even have babies Christmas outfit sorted 😀 (he / she is going to be dresses as a reindeer!!! – I know, so cute)!

So in all, we are prepared for baby, all we really need are the monitors and a set of curtains…

But I wont lie, I am absolutely terrified. I have NO idea what to expect when labour starts….. What if baby is too big to fit out? and I have to have a c-section? What if my baby is starved of oxygen when coming out and becomes disabled? I am terrified of something going wrong! What if I get pre-eclampsia? What if my baby is still born? I just don’t think I could handle that. I love this little sproglet so much, I couldn’t handle it if something happened…

Get this Baby Out

A Long Time Coming.

So I haven’t posted a blog in absolute ages. Which I know I should have done, but between moving house and work I haven’t found much time to do anything, especially since I have been so tired throughout the whole pregnancy.

So 2 weeks ago I went for my 20 week scan, and everything with baby was absolutely fine, no extra arms or legs (or any missing ones).

Image

When I saw my little baby on the screen I almost cried (I admit a tear leaked out but nothing more, though I wanted too) it was just such a special moment, I can’t explain to non-pregnant women just what a heart-warming and special moment it is seeing your baby inside you. I cannot wait until I have him or her in my arms for real! 

As you can guess we didn’t find out the sex of the baby, though I was debating for ages and ages whether or not too. I desperately want to know (I’m not good with surprises) but at the same time a surprise like this would be amazing. In the end I just decided to go with what felt right on the day (though I had already told the other half that I wouldn’t find out – I still wasn’t sure). So now, late November / early December I with have a little surprise 🙂 

One reason that I haven’t posted anything really is because I don’t think I have much interesting to talk about. I haven’t felt overly excited at some times and all I seem to do is worry about the weight I’m putting on and the stretch marks that everyone seems to harp on about. Am I going to get piles and will sex ever feel normal again?! I’m more scared then anything at times. I’m scared about my changing body, I’m scared that I’m going to be a rubbish mother and I’m scared that I’m too young. I haven’t spoke to my partner about this as he’s so self assured that he’d just tell me I’m being silly. And I have no pregnant friends to talk to about any of this and I get the feeling my other friends are sick to death of me talking about my pregnancy. 

I have no idea about antenatal classes or anything, I feel very small and worried. I am excited for baby and I love buying stuff for him / her today I went and got some teething dummies for when that dreaded day occurs, I’ve bought bibs and bottles and blankets I’m waiting for the cot to turn up – but still, all I can do is worry in silence.

And no I appear to have poured my heart out. 

Anyway, the picture above is of my little bump at 20 weeks, I’m now 23 weeks and over half way through my pregnancy. 

xx