The Most Useless

I really must be a very poor excuse of a blogger. I had intended on posting about my labour and adjusting to beinga new mother… however, my little boy was born on December 15th 2012 and I totally forgot to post anything about it!! I was so caught up int he excitedment of finally meeting my little bundle of joy that I just didn’t even think to post anything about it! Useless. Totally Useless.

But here I am, 2 months later I am finally posting about everything!

THE LABOUR.

So my first contractions started at about 4am on the 14th, they were very erratic and I wasnt entirely sure I was in labour. But very quickly they became close together, so off I went to hospital, however, unfortunaltly I was only 3 1/2 cm dialated. Apparently, not all pregnancies follow the ‘plan’ of slowly having your contrations geting close together gradually mine just wernt straight on in there!! However, I chose to go back home and there my mother joined me (I wont lie, my partner was useless so I’m glad my mum was there, later I was going to need someone to calm me down, and my darling Mr Greg was not the person to do that!!) about 3 hours later I was off back to the hospital, where I was told I was 5cm dialated. The relief I felt when I was told that was immense! I was convinced that I wouldn’t be far enough along for pain relief and my mum and Mr Greg had to literally force me back to hospital!! And so I started on Gas and Air, everything was going swimmingly! I the G&A was doing its job, I was bouncing on the ball, I was having baths, I was laughing… then slowly the pain became worse, and the G&A wasn’t working quite so well, however I persevered, then when it got too much, I decided to have a wee bit of pethidine which worked a treat! That along with the G&A I was on to a winner!! or so I thought…. my waters finally broke naturally at 11.30(ish) after much begging for the to be popped (my midwife refused, I was very annoyed) when they finally did go it wasnt a ‘gush’ which was how many people had described it to me as, but more of an eruption… my waters litarally srayed everything in close proximity! Apparently I called my midwife a b.i.t.c.h. however, I dont remember this, I do however remember begging for an epidural, she refused to give me this too, though I’m glad she did, apparently it’s horrible as you can’t feel anything, not even your own legs…

My midwife said that as soon as my waters broke baby would come out quickly, but I started pushing and literally nothing seemed to be happening. She started telling me that my baby was becoming destressed and I needed to really push, though god knows, I was pushing as hard as I could! because my baby was taking so long to come out she had to call the doctor. By this time I was so worried that something was terribly wrong, my partner (Mr Greg) was useless, wondering around like a wraith, my mother (who decided to come along for the ride) was amazing, trying to calm me down and talking me through breathing. In the end I had to have 2 episiotomies and a kiwi cap!! Turns out my gorgeous little sproglet had his hand up by his head, which made it so damn difficult to give birth to him!

I was so shocked that I had finally given birth that I totally forgot to ask when sex he was! It was my mother who asked!! I said all the way through my pregnancy that I would prefer a little girl, but as soon as they told me I had a son, I didn’t care, he was mine, my own little boy and I loved him instantaneously. Though I didn’t get to hold him straight away, It was Mr Greg that held him up to me as I was busy being stitched up ūüė¶ I was upset about that, but I didn’t really have a say in it. I was however shocked at how much he looked like Mr Greg!! In the end Oscar was delivered at 00.27 on 15th December.

All that night I didn’t sleep, I couldn’t take my eyes of my beautiful little boy. I was so scared of touching him, I had no idea how to pick him up or hold him, so I just stared at him until a midwife came around. They wanted to keep me in for a while because Ozzie didn’t take to breast feeding straight away, so we gave him some formula milk and I pretty much bullied the midwives into letting me go home!

I’ve now had him for 8 weeks and 2 days and they have been the best weeks of my life. I can’t imagine how I ever lived without him! Yes sometimes I’m tirerd and sometimes I’m fed up and too knackared to do anything but most of all I’m in love and happy. I’ve realised I never knew what real love was until I had him. The sencond day we had him home he took to breast feeding and it melted my heart to see him feeding from me!

Though, when all my milk came forward I was totally unprepared!! I mean, where the hell did it all come from?!?! I was leaking left right and centre!! Though last week I had to take him of breast as he’s already started teething! I know front teeth are meant to come first, but little Oz has all his top back teeth and a few front and his bottom front teeth all cutting trough at the same time! My poor little boy couldn’t latch on without it being excruciatingly painful for him so we’ve had to but him on bottle (it’s alot easier for him to suck on bottle so less painful!)

Anyway, for now this is it! Hopefully I wont forget post for another 2 months!!

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28 Weeks and Counting…

Today I am 28 weeks (unless the title didn’t give it away). I went to the midwife (for the 4th time now) and the next meeting is in 3 weeks, by which time I will be 31 weeks. This probably seems highly obvious to everyone, but being a new mum-to-be I cannot believe how quickly these last 6 and a half months have gone, I only have about 12 weeks left until the dreaded labour day. It is terrifying!

Recently my mood swings have been getting worse, when I’m at home on my own or if it’s a quiet day in with the other half I start to panic, I find myself worrying that I’m not going to be a very good mother, that I’m going to get everything wrong or that my child wont love me as much as I already love him / her. I know in my last post I moaned a bit about how baby has been killing my back, but I truly love my little one more than anything! No matter how much pain he / she puts me through. Also, when I’m at work my moods are so volatile, I have no patience for anyone that even looks at me the wrong way! I don’t think I’m going to last until I want to at work. I was going to take my maternity leave from the 1st November, but the way I am, especially with back pain (which I get constantly, and not just the spine pain) and the poor customer service that I seem to be dishing out at the moment!¬†Baby has finally moved, so he / she is not on my spine any more, which is a blessing as I was doubled over crying on some occasions!

I cannot wait until I finally get to see my little angel for the first time, it is so scary that it is only in 2(ish) months that I finally get to set eyes on my own flesh and blood, a little being that I have created. The thought and feelings that this create are unparalleled to anything I have had the privilege of feeling!

My recent blood results came back today too, and everything is fine, my blood is perfect (again) the only problem that was found was that my stores of Iron are a bit low as they are what baby takes, but the Iron in my blood is perfect. So I’m only on one Iron tablet, which is great really, as some women have very low Iron when it comes to this time in their pregnancy¬†apparently…

Anyway, that’s all the news for now ūüôā till next time.

 

pregnancy and pain

Ok, so I know mothers, well mothers to be, are meant to love their bumps and little unborn babies, but currently I am finding it very and I mean VERY hard to find any love at this particular moment in time.

My little sproglet is laying on my spine and has been for the last 4 days.Every time he / she moves around I feel as if my spine is about to snap in half. It cannot be comfy for baby so I have no idea why he / she is this position, I mean it certainly isn’t comfy for me. I mean it feels as if baby is trying to kill me!! The other night I was in tears it was so painful! I’m telling you, I have no idea how I’m going to survive labour.¬†

And because of this I have turned into a BITCH. I mean a mega bitch on an epic scale. I snap at everyone, I almost bit some woman’s head off at work today because she wanted an americano with hot milk on the side, AS IF ANYONE HEATS UP A TINY BIT OF COFFEE AT HOME?!?! Why waste my time when normal cold milk is probably what they have normally anyway?!?!¬†

And to make matters worse, my partner doesn’t have a clue what to do, he sits or lays there helplessly as I cry in pain, bless him.

I just cannot wait until December when I can get this little sproglet out of me. At least then I wont have to curse it for the pain my spine is in.